I am adopted. I’ve known this since I was old enough to understand what that meant.  My adoptive mother (hereafter referred to as my ‘mother’) let me know that my biological mother couldn’t keep me, but that she, my mother, wanted me very much.  She also said my biological father wanted to keep me, but that, as a couple, my biological parents couldn’t make it work.  That’s a lot for a five-year-old to understand.  She also cautioned me not to tell kids I was adopted.  Now, she denies this, but it’s one of my strongest memories from just before I started school.

I was very close to my mother growing up — whether that was a good or a bad thing is left to the annals of history and my therapist.  I will say that what finally drove us apart was, in part, my mental illness.  She got tired of having a sick daughter who was always needing to be rescued.  There were some other factors, but that was the big one.  She cut me out of her life.  That was twenty years ago.

For various reasons, I was never close to my father.  He blames my mother and her parenting style.  His own shenanigans during their marriage didn’t help.  Again, water under the bridge, and yes, my therapist knows all about it.

My Adoptive Dad

(For the record — I joke about therapy but will say here that I come by my mental illness honestly. It comes from both sides of my biological parents’ families.  Mental illness is extremely serious and should never be taken lightly.  I take my meds, do the work with my doctor, and do regular check-ins to make sure I’m coping. For me, however, humor is part of coping.  It works for me — it doesn’t for others.

When I was eighteen, I registered with provincial authorities to meet my biological parents. That was the procedure where I lived. Then, eventually, if no match was made, the government would initiate a search.

I waited ten years — which is how long I was told it would be.

Then my cousin told me the government had searched on her behalf. The result hadn’t been all that positive, but she’d come away with crucial medical information. So not a total loss, even if her biological mother wanted nothing to do with her.

Since my cousin had registered after me, I contacted the government — to discover they had an old address.  Eventually, they initiated a search.  I won’t bore you with the details, but about the time the government was searching, my bio mom decided she was ready to look.  So the timing couldn’t have been better — earlier, she might not have been ready.  That first meeting went well, and she invited me to visit her at her home later.  My dog and I made the trek halfway across Canada, and I got to spend time with her.  I met her husband, my grandparents, and two of my three half-siblings.

The relationship became complicated from that point forward and I lost touch — that was on me.  Eventually, from that family, my grandfather passed, my bio mom passed, and then my grandmother passed the next day.  My only regret is not keeping in touch.  Those siblings and nieces and nephews are lost to me entirely.

Okay, so that was that.  Except maybe not.  In 2018, I spit in two tubes and sent those samples off to labs.  23 and Me provided genetic information as well as a DNA database (watch out, they’re in bankruptcy — I recently downloaded all my data and deleted it entirely since I can’t guarantee the next owner, if there is one, will be scrupulous with my privacy).  Ancestry also has a database, so I signed up for that.

Awkward — bio mom’s extended family contacted me.  Very curious as to who this unknown person was — they believed they knew everyone.  She hadn’t told them about me before her death.  Respecting that wish, I asked the relatives to ignore me.  They pointed out they were nice people.  I asked for respect of my wishes — they did back down.

Fast forward to late November 2021.  Someone contacted me through Ancestry.  The last name was the same as the one my bio mom told me belonged to my bio dad.  My half-sister had found me.  Discussions ensued.  Ironically, I was nervous.  What if I was a disappointment? What if they didn’t like me?

I met with my half-sister first.  Then my dad and my other half-sister.  Things sort of went sideways in my half-sister’s life, and I no longer fit into that space.  I respect that.  My other half-sister has a lot going on in her life.  Again, I understand.

My Bio Dad

That left me and my bio dad.  He came to my town a couple of times, and we shared some awkward meals.  Then one day, out of the blue, he texted me. I texted back.  Those texts increased in frequency.  Now, it’s a couple of times a week.  Recently, he asked if he could come for a twenty-four-hour visit.  Understand — people don’t come to my house, and they certainly don’t spend the night.

For him, though, I was willing to make an exception.

Again, I won’t bore you with details — but the visit went well.  I learned a ton about my family, and he got a complete picture of my life — the good, the bad, and the…WTAF?

Such is life.

I don’t know how much longer I’ll have him.  I am also much closer to my dad than before, and I don’t know how much longer I’ll have him either. I’m trying to make the most of what I do have.  I try to share my writing.  I visit when I can.  I hold them in my hearts.

Okay — that was way more than you probably wanted to know. My point?  Being adopted wasn’t a bad thing in my life.  My adopted parents were far from perfect, but I’ve had a good life. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and so no regrets. I just happened to have gone through Hell to get here.

There are tons of found families in my stories — people who support and love my main characters when their own biological families fail them (or die…lots of parents and siblings die in accidents and of horrible diseases). I like to make my characters suffer and then have them find love — in many different forms.

Stanley’s Christmas Redemption is one of those books.  Angus, the ten-year-old, is tragically orphaned. And sure, he has his uncle, Stanley, whom he’s never meet.  But he also has his counselor, Justin.  Who eventually steps away from the therapist role and into that of stepfather (because of course Justin and Stanley fall in love).  Justin has his parents and siblings, but he also has his co-workers with whom he’s close. And then Stanley reconnects with an ex-boyfriend and, eventually, their two families draw closer. Finally, Stanley and Justin foster Opal. Now, if you read subsequent books, you discover what happens to Opal (hint: Justin, Stanley, and Angus are part of her life).

Adoption often turns out well. Found family can be more precious than blood.

You can make characters suffer and given them a happy ending.

Okay, enough about me. I’m so grateful if you’ve read all that.  To one of your readers, Delilah, I would like to gift Stanley’s Christmas Redemption as well as the three other big books in my Love in Mission City series. If the winner doesn’t want those, I can give four other books from my back catalogue.  So let me know — is there a particular book that touched you? One with an adoption, or found family, or just some group of people who are connected in a nontraditional way?  Drop me a comment and let me know.  Winner to be chosen by Random.

Stanley’s Christmas Redemption Synopsis

Stanley

I have life figured out—a good job, a nice car, and an ex-boyfriend whose heart I broke. But then my half-brother dies unexpectedly, and I go back to our hometown to settle his affairs. A quick trip before Christmas. Instead, I get the shock of my life. Do I face this new challenge or do what I’ve always done—run? Or will I stay and get to know the most amazing man I’ve ever met and take on a responsibility I’ve never dreamed of facing? This will be a holiday season like no other.

Justin

I’m a therapist who helps people deal with grief. My life is fulfilling. So what if I’ve been single for years? I have the kids I counsel and co-workers I adore. Maybe I’m tired of going home to an empty house and not looking forward to another Christmas alone. But I’m not going to be taken in by some slick city guy who can’t wait to leave town. I’m not going to upend my life just because I’ve met the man of my dreams. Right?

This is an 85k opposites-attract instalove mid-angst gay romance novel.  Previously published in the charity anthology Secret Santa: A Romance Collection, the story has quadrupled in size with more love, laughs, and a touch of Christmas magic.

Buy links:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09ZD95NH7
Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/Stanleys-Christmas-Redemption-Audiobook/B09ZBM2GJ8
Universal link:  https://books2read.com/u/mV86x2

About the Author

USA Today Bestselling author Gabbi Grey lives in beautiful British Columbia where her fur baby chin-poo keeps her safe from the nasty neighborhood squirrels. Working for the government by day, she spends her early mornings writing contemporary, gay, sweet, and dark erotic BDSM romances. While she firmly believes in happy endings, she also believes in making her characters suffer before finding their true love. She also writes m/f romances as Gabbi Black and Gabbi Powell.

Personal links:
Website: https://gabbigrey.com/
Newsletter sign-up:  https://sendfox.com/gabbigrey
Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/gabbi-grey
Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15456297.Gabbi_Grey
Amazon Author Central: https://www.amazon.com/Gabbi-Grey/e/B07SJVFX1M
Audible Profile:  https://www.audible.com/author/Gabbi-Grey/B07SJVFX1M
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorgabbigrey/

April

Work-related:

1. I completed 2 editing projects for other authors in April!
2. I pushed the deadline for submissions for the anthology entitled Burn until mid-June.
3. And yes, this is such meager progress, but the fact I did anything at all is a miracle! 🙂

Health-related:

1. The big accomplishment this month was that I underwent surgery on April 1st to get my girlie parts removed. I’ve been recovering all month since, and there’s still a ways to go.
2. I had another immunotherapy appointment, so I’m good to go for another six weeks with my cancer treatment.

Happiness-related: 

1. I resumed my participation in #the100dayproject around mid-month. Here are a few small pieces I completed:

May

For work-related, I plan:

1. To complete 3 editing projects in May.
2. To assemble a group of short stories to publish together in a second Ultra Strokes volume.
3. To continue writing Ignition. It’s time to get back to the real work!

For health-related, I plan:

1. To focus on recovery! Rest and light exercise.
2. To start swimming as soon as the pool is ready. I figure I’ll be healed enough by mid-May! Woot!
3. To see an optometrist to address the issue of the deterioration of my vision due to chemo. I need a new prescription, but I also want to know what I’ve lost and if it will get worse.

For happiness-related, I plan: 

1. To spend time with the family while I recover from surgery and get ready for the summer break. I can’t wait to have the kids home.
2. To continue the #100dayproject and create more art.

Contest

Comment on anything you’ve read in this post. Tell me what you’re doing to make yourself happier and healthier, or tell me what you plan to read in May…

Like I said, comment on anything for a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card!

So, yesterday, I met with my oncologist. My daughter came with me because I’m still muzzy-headed and forget things. I’ve been extremely fatigued since my surgery, and I nap a lot. I was worried about the surgeon’s recommendation that I do another three rounds of chemo and how that would affect my summer and recovery. I’ll admit to being a little depressed at the idea.

My oncologist made a face when I mentioned what the other doctor said and shook his head. He said, you did amazingly well with the chemo, and the surgeon got all the diseased organs he could find. Yes, there was still microscopic evidence of disease in the parts he removed, but immunotherapy should help keep anything lingering in my body in check. He wants instead to give my body a chance to fully recover from the chemo and surgery. He’ll order scans in a month or two to make sure the cancer doesn’t come back, but we can do immunotherapy for a while, continue to scan, and if necessary, at a later date, reconsider more chemo. In the meantime, my job is to get healthy and feel well. I was enormously relieved. I will do whatever he tells me I should because we’ve already accomplished so much. I trust him.

At the end of our appointment, he asked, “Do you want to do an immunotherapy session today and get that knocked out? I won’t have to see you again for another month.” So, I sat in the chair for an hour with an IV running and did that. Usually, immunotherapy doesn’t affect how I feel all that much, but today, I feel nauseous and tired. I’m run down. I’ll pay attention to how I feel, rest when I need to, make myself putter to get myself moving, but yay—I won’t be losing my hair again. Right now, it’s super short and mostly silver. I look like Judy Dench. My dd has been working on getting the pool ready for me. If she gets it pretty and blue, I should be swimming by mid-May. That will be a huge boost to my happiness.

Anyway, that’s the report. At some point, I might talk about things that were helpful to me during this journey that might be helpful to others. But right now, I have work to do and naps to take. I’m just so happy and relieved that I have more time with my family and time to be me. In May, I hope to return to my art guild meetings. We’re having a decoupage mini-workshop in May, and I want to be well enough to attend and participate. In the meantime, I’ll edit and paint and poke my head in the door here to say hello.

Word Search

Summer is my favorite time of year, and yes, it all revolves around the pool. It gets hot as hell in Arkansas, but we enjoy our summers. We hit the pool, we barbecue, use the smoker and the blackstone beside the pool to cook wonderful meals. We have movie nights, including a few that we watch with an outdoor projector when the mosquitoes aren’t quite so bad. I love being outside to watch the chickens who escape their pen and peck around the yard. The goats and geese are fun to watch as well. We fill bird feeders and watch the variety that come to our property, along with the deer and foxes who come to our pond. Of course, there are trips to the flea markets. I can’t wait to have the kids home. Their noise—the music and laughter—really picks me up.

For a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card, tell me what you look forward to this summer (or winter, if you’re down under!).

For me (and I do hear that kind of whiny, raised voice “for me” when I say those words), Monday’s are the first day of my week. My calendars and To Dos start with Mondays. However, my attitude towards them changes the deeper into the school year I go.

In the Fall, I feel refreshed getting up with the kids and seeing them out the door. Then, I feel virtuous as I head to my desk and begin work.

By this point in the school year, I’m eager for summer so I can ignore the week’s beginning and sleep until I damn well want to.

For a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card, where do you stand on Mondays? Have fun with this!

I drew another superhero from my Advent Calendar stash of Marvel superheroes to give me inspiration for the week. This time, it’s the IRON FIST!  He’s an honorable superhero. No gray areas. He derives his power from his chi, spiritual energies. He’s the world’s greatest martial artist and uses that iron fist as a weapon or for healing—and that’s how I’ll tie this cute little guy to my week. I have a meeting with my oncologist tomorrow, so I’ll go in with this guy in my pocket to talk about next steps. 🙂

Report Card

Last week…

1. 1. Did you notice I’m back to blogging every day? Yeah, that probably doesn’t mean much to you, but it means I’m putting my fingers on the keyboard and writing…something. It’s all good progress!
   2. I worked on one author’s edits.
   3. I issued an extension to authors interested in contributing to my next anthology, Burn.
   4. I had a blood draw in preparation for my appointment with my oncologist. My Cancer Antigen test results have improved again. A good sign. Not foolproof, but encouraging.
   5. I spent a lot of the week resting. I move slowly, but the incision from my surgery is healing nicely. I can get in and out of bed without straining anything. I wish I could move around as much as I sleep.
   6. I’ve been painting up a storm—usually in the middle of the night when insomnia hits for a couple of hours. Rather than fight it, I use the time to get paint on paper.

This next week…

1. I will complete one author’s edits and begin work on two more projects! I’m almost back to my previous editing pace.
2. I’ll meet with my oncologist on Monday to review my surgery results and plan what’s next for me. I want to get everything scheduled (chemo/immunotherapy) so I can plan my work accordingly.
3. I’ll continue trying to catch up to #thedayproject schedule. Surgery and recovery put me behind, but I’m really liking the push it gives me to produce.
4. I’m going to putter in the kitchen this week. I do love cooking pasta and making my own tuna salad. Plus, it will keep me on my feet.

Open Contests

Be sure to check out these posts and enter to win the prizes that are still up for grabs:

1. 1. Gabbi Grey: I Wanted Taylor Swift! (Contest) — Last day to enter! Win an Amazon gift card!
   2. Saturday Puzzle-Contest — Last day to enter! Win an Amazon gift card!
   3. Gabbi Grey: Trying Something a Little New… (Contest–Two Prizes!) — Win a FREE book plus an Amazon gift card!
   4. Memory Game: My Paintings (Contest) — Win an Amazon gift card!
   5. Flashback: Her Next Breath (Contest — Two Winners!) — Win a FREE book, 2 winners!
   6. Saturday Puzzle-Contest: Wildflowers — Win an Amazon gift card!

No judging. This is a practice piece. I’m trying to learn to use my oil pastels, and this was one I did in the middle of the night last night when I couldn’t sleep with minimal lighting. I think it turned out pretty good considering I had no idea what I was doing! 🙂

Anyway, living in a rural area, Spring comes in waves. First the flowering bushes (forsythia, japonica) then the flowering trees (dogwood, red bud). Then the wildflowers pop up in the pasture and yard. My daughter and SIL have gotten into the habit of mowing around the areas they know will bloom with lovely wildflowers. Our favorite blooms are the crimson clover that come up in the ditch beside the road and the edges of the fenced-in yard. My SIL kind of rolls his eyes because he sees them all as weeds, but we try to keep the dandelions and wildflowers (his weeds) alive long enough the bees can get to them before they go to seed. We don’t worry about perfect grass or anything like that. Nature’s blooms are beautiful.

Anyway, that’s today’s puzzle theme—wildflowers. For a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card, solve the puzzle, then tell me what kinds of natural wildflowers bloom in your area this time of the year. Do you treat them like weeds or adore them like my daughter and I do?

I love doing flashback highlights! It’s not only a reminder to you but also to me of the many stories I’ve written. Did you know before I wrote bounty hunters that I had this entire series of SEAL-hero stories? Read an excerpt from the second “Uncharted” book!

Enjoy! ~DD

   

   

   

Click on the covers to learn more about these stories!

Contest

Win your choice of one of my Uncharted SEALs stories! There will be 2 winners! All you have to do to enter is answer me this…

What author’s older series have your recently discovered and devoured? Spread some love!

Her Next Breath

Ex-SEAL Jackson Keller’s first mission with the Charter Group’s spec ops unit is a bust. Instead of capturing a drug lord in his Mexican compound, he finds a beautiful, naked woman. But she may have information they need to nail the narco-terrorist, so he takes her, sealing his fate. She’s his to watch, his to “manage” until the op’s done.

Suri McAnally’s made some mistakes—mainly trusting her college roomie who just so happens to be the son of one of Mexico’s most dangerous drug lords. If Jackson can save her, she’ll do whatever he says, mirror his moves, and try to keep her insta-lust under control. Her next breath depends on it.

Excerpt from Her Next Breath…

When Suri awoke, it was to discover she was resting inside the curve of Jackson’s arm, her thigh draped over his, her head on his chest. She didn’t know who’d moved the blanket. Maybe they’d both naturally gravitated together. She hated to think she might have been the one to cross the line demarking their personal space.

Partly because she didn’t want to wake him, and partly because it was a new experience lying inside a man’s embrace, she held her breath and remained perfectly still. She breathed in his scent, which was a sagey musk combined with the remaining odor of the paint he’d worn on his face. His skin was smooth, warm, tanned and cloaked a hard, very muscular frame. Her fingertips tingled, and she very nearly gave into the temptation to run one tip over his hard abs. Instead, she curled her hand into a fist.

Last night when she’d seen him fully for the first time—without the paint, his body nearly nude—she’d felt her knees wobble. He was devastatingly handsome, not in a pretty-boy way. He was too manly, too large, all hard angles and lovely bulges, with short, nearly dark-brown hair and those cloudy gray eyes. Even the stubble on his chin made her thighs clench.

Suri hoped she didn’t sleep beside him for many more nights or she’d grow accustomed to his physique. Any man she met after this little adventure would pale in comparison.

Her glance traveled downward to the sheet barely covering his hips. Maybe it was the fold of the sheets, but the fabric was tented.

“Playing possum?”

She raised her head and met his gaze, blushing because she’d been caught staring at his sex.

“Didn’t want to disturb you.”

“You’re breathing, aren’t you?” he muttered in a graveled tone.

She frowned, not understanding, and then pushed away from his body although she instantly regretted the loss of his warmth. When she’d first awoken, she’d felt sheltered, safe—and not just from Diego and his henchmen. She’d felt…cherished.

Ridiculous, she knew. And slightly pathetic. Was she really so needy for human connection that she was romanticizing over Jackson?

But in the morning light, his face wasn’t quite so hard-bitten. Scruffy, dark bristles covered his chin and jaw; his gaze rested on her rather than spearing her.

His glance cut away, and he looked at his watch. “Chow’s nearly over. We should dress.”

“I’m starved.”

The corners of his mouth twitched.

His first smile?

And then his features grew remote again, his mouth firmed. “Get dressed. I need to check in with Teague.”

Aware his gaze followed her still, she rose and stretched her arms high, and then headed to her pillow case.

“You do that on purpose, don’t you?”

She aimed a grin over her shoulder. “Why, whatever do you mean?”

His gaze narrowed, but a one-sided smile curved.

Feeling as though she’d accomplished something noteworthy, she entered the bathroom, closing the door against the temptation that was Jackson Keller.